September 4, 2011
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a natural disaster...
a lot has been happening, yes, but i just haven't had all that much to say. not a lot has changed in my emotional state since my last post of early july, which was quickly set to private, but i suppose there have been some moves to make changes. i guess we'll see if anything happens there. otherwise i've been trying to meet people, which is exhausting. i have a feeling many of them will turn out to be single-serving friends. and many of my old friends seem to be... moving on. aided, i'm sure, by my stellar communication skills. meantime i've discovered that i don't have to be alone if i don't want to be. but in the end i usually wind up feeling more so. like tonight. the more people i meet the more convinced i become that i will end up alone. and my proclivity for ice cream sandwiches when in such a mood just about guarantees that. at least hermes loves me still.
i got to play piano a bit for the first time since being here. i was at a small party of sorts with some new friends and someone blabbed to the host couple that i played. so they made me sit and play. i was pretty drunk by that point and couldn't remember half of the notes, but it still felt good. i miss it terribly. also went to a club for the first time since being here, later that night. hadn't planned on going but one of the guys wanted to go out and he needed a chaperone. i reluctantly agreed. it was all right, but it kinda heightened my loneliness for some reason.
oh, and for my birthday we had an earthquake and a hurricane. both were underwhelming.
k, i'm going back to my reading now.
Comments (3)
I'm glad you are still around! I was concerned.
Maybe, and this is a theory I use OFTEN, and for many things... maybe when you STOP looking for someone, that is when you will find them... It works with keys, a certain sweater, the right job.... and people. I personally had decided if I just had to randomly date to have sex when I needed it, then I was ok with that... I was ok being single and alone, as long as I could have some fun every now and then... and then POOF. Just like that.
You should do what you can to pursue these things you love, that make you happy... writing, playing piano... even if the piano thing was random and little... but have you ever given thought to one of those dueling piano bars??? They rock and have great tips... Piano + tips = FUN HOBBY
Anyways... glad you survived the hurricane. My monkey was in NewHampshire when it went through. Ruined his week vacation to New York... stayed holed up in NH the whole time with a friend and his wife that smokes non stop.
It stirs from the darkness....
I'm in a similar place. In fact I'm more in a similar place now than when we last talked, Saturday night! A lot can happen in 24 hours.....
Glad you're around.