July 3, 2011

  • some with a flattering word...

           so this is the first time since being in north carolina that i'm sitting down properly to write. and of course i have to write a xanga post first. my roommate is having someone over, so i'm sitting in a starbucks a couple miles down the road from my apartment and there's a small group of young, rather loud and obnoxious college guys that are kind of annoying me. i think one is a 'mo, but he's far too young for me. i want them to leave.

           lessee... updates. yeah, not much. with work and (barely) keeping up at the gym i don't have a lot of time to do much else. or money. i was kind of spoiled while living with the 'rents. things are much cheaper there. and they take a shit-ton out in taxes. i'm just barely squeaking by. i don't like the feeling. i'm hardly saving anything. the shopping spree at express in the first few weeks of being here didn't help. but i needed clothes to wear to work!

           as far as the gym goes, i've only recently bumped it up to the four times a week that i was maintaining in kc. i was spoiled there, too, having the gym so close to work. it's still kind of on the way home, but it's a little bit of a detour that's easy to bypass. and work drains me. i'm making progress, though. i sent a friend from kc a picture and he said so straight away. so that's good.

           dating in the south is not going well. i've met a lot of guys here, but only two of those were out. one was from new york city and i wasn't really interested, the other is my boss's boss's boss. yeah. two. gay rights here is about a decade behind the rest of the world. at least. everyone is deeply religious and really messed up. kinda like i was. no thanks. oh, wait, no, there was another one. but he was way too young and i wasn't interested either. fortunately many of the guys here aren't actually from here. i don't really like the north carolina accent. it's somewhat endearing on the women, but there was only one guy that i found it attractive on. he was a patient at the clinic and lives about an hour away. and i couldn't tell if he was flirting or just being friendly. i'm kind of in a phase where i don't really want to date anyone right now, though, so maybe i'll actually get some writing done. ha. we'll see how far that goes.

           north carolina drivers suck, too. definitely in the bad way. no one quite understands the purpose of a passing lane. and they drive like old people. and they like to look where they're going after they're already merging or changing lanes. there is always at least one accident on the highway every day, and traffic gets backed up for decades. and their dmv is a nightmare. i mentioned getting my license, but i still haven't had a chance to get my car registered and licensed yet. i have to have it registered before i can even get it inspected. so i have to make three separate trips to the nightmare dmv instead of the one stop shop that i was used to in missouri. and i haven't been able to get a day off work to do anything and of course they aren't open on any saturdays. i couldn't even get the harry potter premier off. and i might not be able to get my birthday. oh, i'm still going to the movie at midnight. i haven't missed any of them and i'm not about to miss the last. i'll only have two hours of sleep that night, but it'll so be worth it.

           no, i don't plan to be here long. i'm already planning my escape. it involves getting rich through my writing so i can afford to gtfo. i'll go to edinburgh and meet some tall, muscly scotsman and we'll get married and live happily ever after.

           oh yeah, and i'm kinda giving up on the whole writing thing.

           i dream too much.

Comments (12)

  • So.... giving up on the writing thing? That's weak. Unless you actually get nothing out of it anymore but if you do then yeah, quitting is lame.

    I'm curious since you mentioned guys being "too young for you," how young is too young for you? I find myself almost exclusively attracted to guys much younger than me.... possibly cos I have trouble believing I'm actually not that age (early 20s) anymore.

  • @moss_icon - "too young" is relative to the person, of course, and there are certainly guys older than me that act too young, but i don't think i'd even consider under 21, and 24 would be pushing it. generally i prefer slightly older. i'm currently talking to someone who's 38, and if anything materializes he'd be the oldest. well, that i'm aware of. but that's kinda pushing the upper limit, too. toby is 35, and we got along perfectly.

    writing... it's just not going anywhere, and i'm starting to understand that.

  • "Misery makes men handsome." - Mary Wollstonecraft

  • So... if you still enjoy writing, then maybe just let go of this standard of it having to "make money." Just write... label it a hobby instead, then if you happen to make money off it, its just icing!! I have a friend who writes, and gets published in a ... I can't remember if its newspaper or magazine... but every so often, they publish her...but she has a real job too, one that pays regularly. Writing is such an escape for those who love it... don't quit totally unless you are not getting anything out of it personally anymore. K?

    Never stop dreaming, dreams are what keep you moving forward!!

  • @Mr. Mysterious - ha. trying to tell me i'm handsome or are you saying that other men will be more so out of my desperation?

    @BubblysLife - *sigh* ....

  • I would think that trying to date in an environment like the South would just be a horrible series of flashbacks to the 1950s.  Everyone in the closet, in denial, and represeed.  Yuck.

  • @christao408 - hm. that sounds pretty close. at least some of them are open about it to other 'mos. it's not like we're meeting in wooded areas after dark or anything. but maybe it's a little further behind than i thought!

  • Youz a 'MoFo!

  • You can never dream to much.

  • I'm not trying to "tell" you anything, though Mary Wollstonecraft might be. That said, I acknowledge that your second interpretation had not occurred to me. 

  • I'm seriously wondering about you. Hope things are ok. I miss your little updates!

  • @BubblysLife - you're too sweet. :) just haven't had much to talk about. maybe before long i'll sit down and see if anything comes out.

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