June 5, 2011

• regress report...

         i think i'm having a mini existential crisis. it's nothing so grand that would necessitate a quote from hamlet, but i'm still wondering what the hell i'm doing here.

         there's a scottish guy on grindr that i tried talking to once in hopes of marriage and instant permanent work visa acceptance. he responded once, but didn't respond to my followup because i really can bore people that fast, apparently. he's quite attractive, too, and i haven't even heard him speak yet, which is probably for the best because then i'd be a basket case and it'd take me years to get over him. which isn't much of an exaggeration. i'm still trying to get over the last one, and things are only working in the wrong direction as far as that goes.

         i was looking through some of kweeny's older challenges, since she just posted another (and about frickin' time), and i remembered the new year's challenge to come up with some resolutions and i thought i'd give you a mid-year progress(?) report. told you i was boring. my original post here.

  1. body. working on it. i seem to be hovering in the lower 160s, but since my goal weight, according to my erstwhile trainer, is about 170 i'm not that worried. i've been going about three times a week and i'd like to add another day soon. time doesn't seem to be slipping away as quickly as it did at first, so i think i can manage it. i've also been venturing more into the world of free-weights, which i hate, but it's what you're supposed to do. progress is slow, but there has been enough to keep me from being entirely frustrated.
  2. write more. completely failing on this one. this is contributing significantly to that crisis mentioned previously. 
  3. chillax about getting older. i'm not as worried as i was when i wrote that. related worries seem to be taking the place of it, though. like being fugly and dying alone.
  4. move out before my twenty-eighth birthday. check.
  5. i really need to be better with money, too. well, i've had one paycheck over the last month and have paid two months of rent and other living expenses and have gone out a lot. my credit card is almost maxed out and i have twenty dollars to last me till wednesday. so right now it doesn't look so hot. but my paychecks have doubled in size and now that those are coming regularly i'm not worried. well i am until wednesday, but i won't be after that.
  6. boyfriend. ugh. don't ask. see paragraph two and item three. and i learned today that both a friend (also an ex) is moving in with his boyfriend and that the first guy i dated here in raleigh is, according to facebook, in a relationship.
  7. get out more. since moving to raleigh, i have. week before last i was out every night. but yesterday and today i haven't left the house, sooo... mixed response, i guess. getting better, though.
  8. read more. i have been. last saturday i sat down and read "peter" by alice walker in its entirety. loved it. today i started manuel puig's "kiss of the spider woman," which i'm enjoying quite a lot, but i'm taking my time on it. during the week i've been reading harry potter (currently on the third) on my lunch breaks via kindle. yeah, they're pirated copies but i'm on my second physical copies of the first three because i read them to tatters so i don't feel bad.
  9. go to bed earlier. check. i get up at 5:30 every morning, so i've had to out of necessity. still not getting enough sleep, though. i've been napping a lot lately.
  10. travel. i moved half-way across the country, but somehow that doesn't quite feel like it counts. i need to visit some friends, though. and i still need to get a passport. once hot scottish guy realizes i can make things better than his mum's haggis i'll be needing it.
  11. expand my horizons. hasn't really happened yet. well, ok, a recent experience might qualify, but it's not what i had in mind when i wrote that. no, i'm not telling.
  12. piano more. very sadly, no. i don't have a piano anymore. i think i'm going to buy one soon. i neeeeed it.

   
         i feel like a little piggy. i've been sooo hungry, and i'm eating so much. i don't like it! ok, i'm boring myself. back to reading about other people's lives.

  • 8:38 pm
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