March 14, 2011

  • volatile...

           haven't been in a writing mindset lately. too busy freaking out and being nervous and wondering what the hell i'm doing. two weeks ago i officially applied for a job in north carolina, a full-time clerical/office position in an ophthalmology clinic that's a part of the university of north carolina in chapel hill, about 20 minutes from raleigh. it's a different branch of the same office that my future roommate works for, so he put in a good word. it'd be about twice my current wages. this last thursday i had a phone interview (a first for me), which seemed to go really well, or at least i was invited to fly out next weekend for an interview in person. trevor says she wouldn't have done that if she wasn't serious about it. i hope he's right because i'm paying for it. but i fly out sunday and return tuesday, sort of a whirlwind trip, which will also be my first to the area. also my first plane ride since january 2001, and definitely my first alone. i have an hour and a half layover in chicago (previously reported incorrectly to some as an hour), which i was nervous about when i thought it was less time, but suddenly i'm excited about those extra 30 minutes. i was rather inspired on my last layover, ten years ago. that one was a bit longer, though. maybe something will come out of this one. who knows? but the position, should it be offered to me, starts a month earlier than originally anticipated. i'd be moving out there at the end of april instead of the end of may. suddenly i feel a little more crunched for time. maybe that's part of what has been making me nervous, feeling like i'm being torn away before i'm ready. it's all been happening so quickly. even though i've been wanting to get out of here for forever. i know it doesn't make sense. but i just have this pervasive feeling that i have no idea what i'm doing. and it's kinda true.

           i really hope it works.

           i love words with multiple meanings. they're so extremely interesting.

           would it be bad to get into a relationship just for the sake of having one? oh, it's way too soon to talk about such things. but i'm still curious.

           really weird mood today. no sleep last night might have something to do with it. i should get some now.

Comments (6)

  • Well, that's WAY exciting!!  And if airport security wasn't so ridiculous, I'd totally come hang with you for a half hour on you layover.

    Good luck with the interview!  I'm thrilled to hear you're stepping out of your comfort zone.  It's always a good thing.

  • First plane ride in a decade?  Wow...  Well, congratulations on making it to the next round of the interview process and I hope it goes well for you.

  • Good luck!!!

  • One of life's more infuriating qualities is its refusal to proceed according to schedule. At least, your personal schedule. By way of consolation, I offer two quotations. Both should look familiar to you, though for different reasons. The first comes from my adored Epictetus: "Do not seek to have events happen as you want them to, but instead want them to happen as they do happen, and your life will go well." The second comes from you, on 26 February: ". . . I don't really want the leaving the nest (again) thing to be a big deal, regardless of distance. I'm almost 28."

    Finally, keep in mind that the job offer hasn't happened yet. If it does (and I'm hopeful that it will), you can always turn it down if you truly wish. Also, given that the position's start date changed once, it could change again and may even be negotiable. One last quotation that I'm almost embarrassed to include: "Don't stop believin'!/Hold on to that [February] feelin'!"   

  • I searched for 30 seconds for the "like" button on MrMysterious' comment. Love everything he said.

    This is an adventure! Think of it as that. Don't worry about relationships right now. Just worry about being who you are and getting out into a new world and doing something!!!

    I'm planning a trip to Ohio in the summer to visit a friend...it will also be my first flight alone. My first "grown up trip" is what I'm calling it... cause its just me, going to visit a friend and do nothing while there but whatever we want... I'm 39... first trip alone, only 3rd time on a plane... Yikes. I'm so sheltered. But another thing is exciting me is the layover in Chicago, how weird is that?  LOL.. it just seems like time to appreciate NOT being where I always am, people watching, wandering through a giant airport... I'm just excited!! My man thinks I'm nuts to WANT a long layover. LOL.

  • Yes, I know the feeling. 3 weeks ago I thought everything was running smoothly. Then I find out I won't be returning to 3 of the 4 schools I teach at from April, that is, if I am re-contracted at all. I have 2 weeks to go and still no contract. That's how this line of work goes every year at this time but it never gets any less stressful. More so, when you find that your schedule has been turned inside out! Then, of course, is the prevailing threat of earthquakes and radioactive clouds.... although I'm far less concerned about those than leaving my schools!

    Sometimes we just have to close our eyes and jump. Those who aren't willing to rarely go anywhere.

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